As some of you already know, I am in the midst of recovering from a spinal cord injury that surprised me last December. I had to have emergency back surgery on December 15th and was in the hospital during Covid with no visitors for almost two months-including Winter Solstice, Christmas, and New Year’s. I know!
But it really wasn’t all that bad-I mean it! It was a forced respite from a life that, even during the work-from-home quarantimes, had been feeling overwhelming and unwieldy for some time. Solitude, lots of time to reflect and write, a room with a view, and Taylor Swift’s second surprise pandemic album were all touchstones that got me through it. Plus, one of my amazing doctors found out that I played piano and brought in a keyboard that she had in her garage so I could practice while I convalesced. It’s all about silver linings people.
I am someone who believes that everything happens for a reason and I’m big on acceptance. It’s definitely a tough thing to swallow when one day is normal and the next day you can’t feel your legs or even wiggle your toes, but I’ve handled it surprisingly well, if I do say so myself. I have my moments, of course. It’s a lot to not be able to drive or walk while carrying something in your hands and it is strange how everyone else’s life just continues on without interruption while yours is turning upside down, but I’m figuring out new ways of doing things and getting around well with a wheelchair and a walker. I might even graduate from a walker to crutches soon-this is very exciting!
When I look at it from a distance I’m honestly amazed with my progress. Necessity truly is the mother of invention and you find ways to get around limitations and do the things you need to do. You learn to think long and hard before going from one room to another because if you forget something you need it takes a lot more than two seconds to go back and grab it.
I want to thank everyone who has been praying for me and pulling for me and supporting me during this time-especially my angelic mom and roommates who have been my primary caretakers. I am so grateful for all of the amazing doctors and therapists at my rehab center where I went from barely being able to stand, to walking with a harness helping me by taking off varying degrees of weight, to walking short distances on my own with just a walker. All along the way there have been moments or grace and people who were angels showing up just when I needed them.
This has also been a master class in learning how to be in touch with what I need and get comfortable with asking for help. This is a humongous life lesson for me as someone who has always been a people pleaser and a natural selfless giver-often to a fault. There is more, and I think eventually there will be an album and perhaps a collection of essays reflecting on this experience, but all in good time.
There will be much more to come. Thank you for reading this, for caring, and as always, beautiful people, thank you for listening.
Love & Music
Bekah 💖🎶🌈